Democracy Boy..

...yeah, that's me

I couldn't think of a better caption...since my birthday is always celebrated on "democracy day" - May 29.

I am grateful to God for keeping me this far, blessing me, providing for me, granting me wisdom, favors and mercies and most of all saving me by sending His son and my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ to die for me.

For the umpteenth time, this is another birthday i would be celebrating without my family around. I think in the last 6 years, i have had mainly an uneventful birthday apart from 2009 i think.

• 2008 - I was at work 
• 2009 - I had a birthday party at Kingsize, Oregun
• 2010 - I was at work
• 2011 - Was enroute to the US
• 2012 - Celebrated at home alone cos Chweety was in the labour room,just about to deliver in the US
• 2013 - In my hotel room, Abuja...740km away from wife and daughter because of work

I wish they were here to celebrate with me, but it wasn't possible. No need crying over spilt milk

I will just go to the cinema, watch Iron Man 3 and Fast & Furious 6. Then i go to that garden i love so much at Utako, Eden Park and maybe invite a few friends over...

Not looking so gloomy after all...except i would be doing this without family *sigh*

Out of Retirement?

Its been over 4 years since my last post...Wow!!!! That's a very long time...

I had been seeing myself as "retired" from blogging...I guess i just got bored sha...bloggers i knew and visited their blogs regularly just stopped blogging....other interesting things started happening.... family... praying for baby to come... new jobs...backstabbing friends....new friends...twitter...etc

Time just flew past...and before i even noticed, 4 years has passed

Now i dont know if this means i would stop by here and drop a note or two regularly but...lets just watch and see.

I wonder who would even be reading this...everyone that knows i ever blogged have moved on to something else...

Anyway, make I baff go office..plenty client deliverables to complete

Cheers....to no one in particular

Only if you were President…

You would not rule, but lead

Our nation would be the Pride of Africa

The legislators would do what they are supposed to be doing, not spending tax payers’ money by going to enforce election fraud in Ekiti

Every minister would sit up and work

Benin –Ore road would be repaired

The train services would work across the country

You would be invited for every G-5, G-10, G-20, G-50, G-100 summit holding anywhere in the world

PDP would diminish

We would not rely on Oil as our main economic sustenance

Even if you were ill and had kidney and heart failure combined, we would pray for you to recover quickly

You would focus on development of the nation at large

Majority of the population would have easy access to you

When you are not there, we won’t be afraid because we are sure you have the right people and system in place to run the government

The UEFA champions’ league final would be played in Nigeria (I know you can do it)

Only if you were president, Fashola

Only if you were president

May you continue doing what you are doing now for the next 6 years, and then improve & apply it to Nigeria’s development blueprint

BRF!! Fashi!!! Naija O’ Ni Baje O!!!

I dont know what to write...

…Seriously I don’t, but it just wanted to

Been having that feeling for months but did not have a clue what to write about – my life, my work, my wife, my family, my friends, my (?)(?)(?)(?)(?)(?)(?)….no clue at all

Then every time I sign on to facebook and I see all my friends writing – (Idris, Shosho, Uchie, NK, Sparkle, Mmachi e.t.c.), the little clue I had disappears from my memory again. I say to myself, “don’t worry, when you get the new job, ideas would flow”…..Nada, that did not help either

I went down to lunch a few minutes ago, on my way up the stairs (5 floors up, I like using the stairs) I said to myself – “Just go to your desk, open a blank word document, type the first thing that comes to your head and just post it on facebook”

Then another thought comes to my head again, “why not blogville? Why facebook?” and I answered “yeah, that too”

I walk to my desk, signed on to my laptop, ignored the unread mail notification on my system, opened a word document and just started typing

So I may not have written anything meaningful but hey, I don’t have to worry about writing in a couple of days or weeks or even months from now

Now, let me go back to work

Caveat emptor - This note may not make sense

My first 100 days in “Office”

Today marks my 100th day in “office” and as every other public leader in Nigeria would do, I have to give an account of my stewardship, howbeit premature.

In giving my stewardship, I am not going to talk about the 5 boreholes I commissioned in 6 local governments, the “multi-million naira” bus stop I built, the $38 billion dollar stadium I laid the foundation stone, the multi billion naira 500 bed hospital that would not be completed till I have served my 8 year term, the 10 refurbished Toyota Hilux I donated to the police commands to fight crime, the 350 wheel chairs I donated to the less privileged to the tune of 750million naira and the kick off of the over inflated =N= 25billion naira 35km road. (Sometimes you just wonder why they were elected in the first place)

In fact, my “office” is not a political one, though for some it could be. My “office” was ordained by God and HE expects me to respect that “office” and do everything I can (with His grace of course) to ensure I uphold all that the “office” signifies

That “office” is Marriage. Yep, today marks my 100th day as a married man. Yep, how time flies. It doesn’t even feel that way; it feels as if I just got married last weekend…ok, maybe 3 weekends ago.

I’m not going to start blowing my trumpet about how I have been a loving, lovable, caring, patient, adorable, bla bla bla bla kind of husband cos even Heaven knows I have been found wanting most of the time. It has taken God’s grace, the powerful name of Jesus Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit to get us this far and with our own commitment, love and patient, I know it can only get better as we celebrate the 200th, 1,000th, 10,000th, 15,000th and 20,000th day in “office”.

Join us as we celebrate our 100th day in “Office”

….coincidentally this day also marks the 16th year anniversary of my father’s death. We miss you old man. Keep resting in peace till we meet to part no more.

400 “Friends”

For most people, making and keeping friends is as easy as it gets. For some, it’s like writing JAMB the 10th time. I find myself in between the two extremes. I have friends, “friends” and friends?.

I signed into facebook this morning and found out my “friends” now number 400 (well its actually 398 but with 2 other pending requests, that would make it 400). First thing that came to my mind was “how can?” I barely even know 400 people let alone 400 friends. But looking at it again, I think I do have friends, though most of them are online friends and colleagues at work which is where I spend most of my time anyway. Outside online (blogsville inclusive) and colleagues (current and former), I doubt if I have up to 10 friends out there.

I used to have them a lot but now, I just don’t know what happened.

In the past (like 15years ago), my friends used to be my fellow chess players, school mates, Man Utd supporters, neighbours and their friends too. Then (like 6-10 years ago) it changed to my “TGIF” crew, school mates, Man Utd supporters, “ex’s”, colleagues, neighbours and few online friends. Today, 95% of my friends are either colleagues, blogger’s (most of whom I barely even know) or facebook friends.

I am getting used to the “virtual” friendships. Damn…..i miss dem days when you always meet and hang out with your friends….like today Friday

Variance Analysis......

Variance analysis is an accounting term used in budgeting or management accounting in general. It is a tool of budgetary control by evaluation of performance by means of variances between budgeted amount, planned amount or standard amount and the actual amount incurred/sold. Variance analysis can be carried for both costs and revenues.

Variance analysis (in the real world and in my own dictionary) is the evaluation of how actual events played out as against planned events.

I will illustrate with an example


PLANNED EVENTS
Date: May 29th 2008

Venues: Home in Mafoluku, The Place in Ikeja GRA, Ada k’ ibe ya (Isi-ewu joint in Ajao Estate), Kusimo Street, Surulere (Roasted Fish Joint), Nwanyi Ibuzor (Local joint near my house)

Activities: Visit all the joints mentioned above pre-arranged by friends and call other friends who live around the joints to join me there for a celebration


ACTUAL EVENTS
Date: May 29th 2008

Venues: Home in Mafoluku, Office in Victoria Island,

Activities: Left home by 8 am for office (..and it was supposed to be a public holiday), work till 6pm, receive a bad evaluation, received no birthday gifts (well apart from Chweety of course)


Going from the above parameters, and using my own definition of Variance analysis; this was by far the worst birthday I have had in ages.

Thank you Chweety for making it memorable and for those who forgot to wish me happy birthday, I will get y’all.

But heyy….looking on the bright side, it saved me money

TAG.COM

Rules:
1. Link the person/people who tagged you
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Mention six(6) spectacular quirks of urs
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by adding their links
5. Let each of the tagged bloggers know they've been tagged..via their blogs

MY QUIRKS

1. I hate writing and dont love reading but cos of blogville, work and the fact i also have to broaden my knowledge and develop myself, i have to do them.

2. I hate being stood up (even for 5 minutes). I am too time conscious

3. I hate flying and at the same time hate sitting down for too long in a bus. That can only mean one thing - I hate travelling (except if i have to teleport)

4. I am addicted to sports (except cricket). I follow stories, actions, live events of practically all sports but most especially Football and Formula 1

5. I am CRAZY about cartoons and jokes. I have loads and loads of collections of Garfield and jokes from Jay Leno, Letterman, John Stewart, Colbert and the rest. It keeps me sane. if you are not on my mailing list, better apply now so i forward some of them to you everyday. some people already call me "clown" in the office

6. I cant tell a single joke. i suck at it. i cant even laugh at them....its that bad


OK so i tag Yankeechic, afrobabe, manda, Queenofmycastle, A.J, Toky

She fooled me….

Sometime last year, a blogger (name withheld) asked me if I wanted to be on the pages of a magazine because there was a piece she was doing on male blogger’s. It was supposed to be a follow up of a similar one for female blogger’s just weeks before then.

I agreed

She sent me questions via email; I replied and sent a couple of pics so she could choose the best for it.

Well, I think I did not reply on time or maybe my pictures were not fine enough but I don’t think she eventually published it. All this happened sometime late last year or so

Now, yesterday, this happened (on my yahoo messenger):

Ozofu: Congrats, I saw u on the pages of a magazine
Me: Emi ke? How? When? Which? Where?
Ozofu: On the pages of True Love
Me: R u serious? (but I thought True love was a womans magazine)
Ozofu: Yes, I am looking at it now. I will bring it over to the house tonight
Me: Did they put my pictures? And is it fine?
Ozofu: No, they did not
Me: Thank God

After that chat, I raise my head and tell all my team members I was on the pages of a magazine. I told them about the gist from last year and everything. Then I tell chweety that I was on the pages of a magazine. All this while I was looking for where I would quickly go and buy a magazine so I can read it.

5 minutes later, chweety tells me it was April fool

I felt like strangling Ozofu, if no be say I be God pikin I for show am pepper. My entire team members just dey laff me. chei, see my life

So, Blogville, please for my sake, lets look for “april fool” joke and play on ozofu. I don’t care even if its in December, we will call it “December fool” joke then. Pleaseeee, I dey beg, I must revenge and una must assist me

....and it went well

We were blessed, now we are one...

Married life has begun for me

Two stories of "2"...

STORY 1...

Today marks my 2nd year anniversary on blogville. It started like a joke and now here i am; 2 years later; 1645 profile visits; 45 posts and about 600 comments (sorry princesa, but i had to steal your style). Thank you all.

In a special way, i would want to thank Fatima for making me join blogville. Fatima herself, has not been in blogville for a while. i just hope she is ok. Infact her last post was in Sept 2006.
I would like to ask you all a favour; Please, visit Fatima's blog and tell her to update more often.
I know she has a yahoo 360 blog or so. I guess she i s spending all her time there or something


STORY 2...
I went for a seminar yesterday somewhere in Ikeja and just before it started we were asked to say an "opening prayer".

Now this prayer turned out to be the second stanza of our National Anthem. I did not think much of it cos i was sure i had said it like a billion times all through primary and secondary school.

We all got up, stood at attention and started singing...


O! God of creation
Direct our noble cause
Guide our leaders right (hmmm, whats the next verse again)
Help our truth the youth to know (noooo, it was supposed to be the other way round)
In love and honesty to grow
And live in just and peace (damn it, the whole hall was singing "and living just and true")
Great lofty hieghts attain (o yes, i remember this part now)
To build a nation whereeee peaaccee anndddd justiceee shallll reignnnnn

heyyyyyyyyyy(of course we did not sing this part. i only sang it in my head cos it was my favourite line in secondary school days)

All in all, i realised i aint patriotic enough, i cant even sing our national anthem well.

Too bad. Abeg make una go learn am ooo, because if any of us becomes minister or adviser tomorrow, we must sing it at the National Assembly ooooo.

I have said my own

In the Last 69 days.......

I have not blogged (well, except today of course)
I have missed two bloggers get together organized my Princesa (not intentional, I owe you an outing)
I have been depressed

I have been happy
I have been sad

I have been elated
I have laughed
I have rejoiced
I have traveled
I have seen
I have been seen
I have loved
I have hated
I have helped out
I have not helped out
I have been humble
I have been humbled
I have received
I have given
I have prayed
I have doubted
I have had hope
I have lost it
I have won
I have lost
I have loved my job
I have hated it too
I have proposed
....And she accepted

Lucky me

Last Update of the year.....

Hi all. Sorry i havent updated in a while. Too many things happening at the same time, but i thank God sha o, it could have been worse.

I wanted to do a different post but i changed my mind just as i was about posting it. it was supposed to be a sequel to a post i put up last year. I had it all typed out in a word document and all i had to do was "copy and paste" into my blog but....., i just dont know what happened.

It was supposed to be a tribute to my dad. December 15th would mark 15 years since he moved on. I wanted to tell him how well we have been doing by Gods mercies and how God has been a doing a wonderful work deputizing for him. I also wanted to tell him all our success stories for the year; from Mom to Iruka, Emeka, Viv, Uche, me, Ikenna, Chimezie and Nnamdi. The marriage in the family, his new grandson, my promotion, Iruka's Masters, Uche's new job and all that. Well, i guess it was giving away too many details (it was quiet elaborate) so i shelved it.

Anyway, this is what i could come up with that was close enough.

I also want to publicly apologise to blogville. So many of you(Jaybabe, Aijay, Princesa, Teediva, Cally, Solomosydelle, Obinwanne, Jaycee, Nikkisab, Ubong, B & B, Uzo, Mochafella, Isi, Ugo Daniels, Fantasy Queen, Onome, Rayo, Nyemoni, Arewa, QMC, Catwalq, Olamild, Sparkle, Bumight..e.t.c) come around and leave comments in my blog and i hardly ever do the same to yours. Please forgive me, its not intentional. i will do better from now on.

...and before i forget, i finally got rid of titi (my jalopy) and waiting to buy a new one. Still thinking of a name for her. I havent decided yet. suggestions would be appreciated, o rshould i just wait till i buy a new one?

HERE IS WISHING YOU ALL A LOVELY XMAS IN ADVANCE AND A WONDERFUL 2008.

HIP HIP HIP!!!!

HOOORAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell Ride..........

This was on the "Journey to Atlantis" ride at Sea World, San Diego. Guess who is in the top left hand corner?

Yep, thats me, "an ibo dude", scared as hell. All my machismo, this is where it ended.

Roller coasters, NEVER in my life will i enter one again. I died and woke up ten times in just minutes of this HELL ride. And you know the worst part, just seconds before this ride, i was holding the kid beside me telling him everything would be alright and now look who got scared. The kid just laughed all through the ride; i felt like smacking him.

Well, my only consolation was the guy on the first line. He was as scared as i was (if not worse). You can call me "Scareddy cat", "kid afraid", "wimp" or anything else for that matter. All i know is no more "hell" rides for me.

So the next time you want to tell me how much of a wimp i can be, take me on a roller coaster ride. But you and i know that would never happen.

Update!!!!

Finally…

An update

But not what you were expecting I’m sure. The truth is there is nothing to update. No story to tell and since I don’t want to be cooking up stories for the sake of updating I will just keep this as simple as possible.

Remember if you don’t like this post, just no kill yourself, just go to Isi, afrobabe and obinwanne’s blog and harass them cos na them send me this work.

Anyway the only thing that has changed for me since the last post is that my very good friend got married last Thursday, the 8th of November. Yep, Thursday. It was held in that Catholic Church in 1004 estate. Very lovely wedding; simple, small crowd and lots of food and drink. Too bad I could not drink cos I was supposed to head back to the office after the reception.

The couples have known themselves for a very long time. They went to the same university, dated for like 2 years or so but separated after a while. They eventually hooked up here in Lagos (as everybody don dey work now), got together again and decided to get married (sorry, I cant make it more romantic than this)

So, the true reason for updating is to dedicate this post to Okey and Vivienne and wish them a happy and fulfilled married life. Make una dey pray for them too ooo

….and for those who want to have a good laugh, please visit http://undacovasista-weareeverywhere.blogspot.com/. I almost died of laughter after reading the last post

Story,Story..........Story!!!!

Location......."Roundtable", Mammy Market, NYSC Camp,Ikare Akoko, Ondo State, Nigeria
Participants...3 Guys(including me) and a Lady
Date...........January 17,2002
Time...........around 9pm


This scene happened like 5 year ago. I dont think i remember the exact discussions that night cos there was too much alcohol flying around (and in my bloodstream) and i think it was also eve of our passing out of camp but i do remember something i said that evening. We were in our 6th bottle (even the chic too) and we were having a "wonderful" time and laughing aloud (apparently with that kind of alcohol). Then some lady walks by and the conversation starts....

Chic....Bros, see that babe wey win miss camp ooo
Everyone......Wey am? Where she dey? Which one? That one?
Chic....Yes, that tall one wey dey shake nyash so..
First guy.....She tall ooo
Second guy...Yes oo, This is my specs..
Me............Na everybody be your specs when u don drink

everybody laughs.......

Me..........But she no fine oo, how she come take win (and to think that i dont see very well in the dark cos of my spectacles. i wonder how i saw her facial look)
Chic........Argh argh, she try now, how u go talk like that, u no see her hieght?
Second Guy..Omo make i pursue am see whether i fit toast am...
Chic....sidon jo, na ur type? person wey all the ZI and Camp director dey pursue
Me......already..?
Chic.....Yes now
Me.......Na wao, who know whether na wetin make am win be that sef (see bad belle o)Chic.....but to talk true, na she fine pass all the other girls dem. People no too compete like that. Dem dey shame
Second guy..Wo, leave matter jo. Eh hen, Chic, wey that your room mate wey u wan arrange for me sef, i wan do wetin this useless boys(me and the other) don do for camp too. How i go carry full tank come camp, carry full tank go again.....

The night eventually drifts away.......

Anyway, the moral of the story is sometimes we sit down and judge other people even when we dont know them. In this case, i never even saw her b4 or even heard about her but i just said something out of the top of my head. That was bad.

The funny thing is that same girl, i met like 4 years later(i had no idea she was the one) and that is the same person i am planning on settling with (Chweety)

What an irony....or is it?

Apologies...........

Sorry guys. I know I haven’t been faithful to you all with regular update to my blog and even visiting and leaving comments in yours. I have just been lazy for the past weeks. Forgive me. Thank you to Ugo, Manda, Princessa, Nikkisab and all others who kept calling and reminding me to update my blog. The fact was there was not really much to blog about. Inspiration left me for a while. Don’t even know if its back. I guess all bloggers and writers pass through this phase once in a while.

Anyway, nothing much has been happening. Same ol’ same ol’. My work is still there, my family, my friends, my leisure activities haven’t changed much, Chweety is still there, and Titi is still there too (I haven’t changed her yet oo, the love is too much between us).

I visited Ghana for the holidays. Nice place to visit if you have your money. The revalued currency has really helped them. 1 US Dollar to 0.95 Cedis. They’ve got beautiful roads, clean streets, lovely beaches and beautiful ladies. What they say about Ghanaian girls and stature is 100% correct. They are heavily “endowed”. Their “IRUKA” and “AZUKA” is something else. It took me a while to get used to not starring. There are sooooo many Nigerians there either for business, pleasure or live there. Infact at a time I was thinking we actually outnumber them. They are quiet fun loving people and a much laid back unlike Naija people. Some say they are just lazy but I won’t totally buy that. An average Ghanaian might find it hard to fit and live in Lagos and Port Harcourt but maybe not Abuja or Akure. They take there time in doing everything. In all the food joints I visited (and believe me, they have like a million place to eat), it took an average of 1 hour for my order to appear. The other customers did not bother of course but me and my guys where always so impatient. No be our fault o, it’s just that a hungry man is an angry man. Then another thing was the food; apart from chicken, chips and burger, i could not eat there local food. Everything looked different from their name. Anyway i would post a couple of pics I took later or maybe would do that on my facebook. Here is a link to some of them anyway including videos http://picasaweb.google.com/maxifish/Ghana

Sweet Daddy D

Peanut and Jeff # 2

Desultory Thoughts…….

I feel like blogging but don’t know what to blog about, so I would just keep typing anything that comes to my head.

Ø I’m finally back in the office after over 14 months of being in a client’s site. The atmosphere is so much different. I almost forgot what it felt like. Now all I have to do is wait for another project to go on while using the break to develop myself better in other to deliver high performance to the next client. Fluffs……

Ø Oh, I almost forgot, I got promoted effective September. You know what that means..? More is expected of/from me and I also have to show I deserve to be where they put me.

Ø “Titi” (my jalopy) is really showing me pepper. I can’t wait to get rid of her. The other day, I was driving home and I was thinking aloud to my self what name I would give the new car when I get it and “Titi” decided to die on me. I had to beg her oooo. I pleaded and pleaded before she now started and managed to take me home. I am never saying anything bad about her in her face again. Once beaten, twice shy (in this case, 100 times beaten………)

Ø Manchester United is gradually moving up the table. Don’t worry “Reds” fans; we will get to the top gradually. We just have to beat Chelsea on Sunday. By the way I have the new home and away jersey with my name on it…..Awesome!!!

Ø I hope the luck Yar’Adua brought the nations football team will continue today as our Falcon’s play in the women’s world cup. If they lose, they would be on the next flight back to Naija. Yar’Adua, make ur luck shine today ooo

Ø The original name for this post was “ramblings” but I looked up the meaning on “wordweb” and I found “desultory” as a synonym. I thought it sounded fancier and if I used it, readers’ would think my English was out of this world.

Ø The link to the pictures I took in the US. I spent most times taking the pics, I forgot I had to be in it. http://picasaweb.google.com/maxifish/Americana

Well, I just ran out of ideas on what else to write. I guess this will do for now. I’ll just have to go visit other blogs to make comments. Oops…I forgot I have a whole lot of CBT’s(Computer Based Training) to do. I guess I have to do the comments later.